A young woman came hesitantly into my office, head low, and eyes staring at the ground. My heart ached for her. When she did look up, I saw tears streaming down her cheeks. As she told me her story, I could feel her despair, shame, and sense of worthlessness. But I could also sense how much her Heavenly Father loved her and how proud he was that she was brave enough to start making changes.
In the last two years there has been a surge of young women who have become involved in sexual practices. Many of whom have tripped into pornography addiction and sexual misbehaviors. Pornography and sexual addiction has been vocalized and more readily addressed with men and young men. This has given rise to the attitude that sexual misbehavior is possibly not a “girl” issue. Or if it is an issue for females, that it only happens to “those” kind of girls. You know, the ones who dress like that, talk like that or behave outwardly like that.
Parents, leaders and others: this is what Satan would have us believe! It is challenging to imagine our sweet daughters and the women in our lives possibly having curiosity about porn and sexual experimentation. Satan hopes that this issue goes undetected in our homes, leaving the females at risk. Satan preys on ostriches with their heads in the sand! They are an easy target and a sure win for him! New statistics are showing that while 80% of men struggle with pornography and sexual misbehaviors, 60% of women are also affected.
I have had the experience of listening to distraught parents calling in a state of shame and embarrassment due to a daughter’s misbehaviors. It is exceedingly difficult for them to express what the real problem is as they typically just tiptoe around the issue. They often feel as though their daughter is probably the only young woman on the planet who may be experiencing sexual misbehaviors.
The reason there is so much shame and embarrassment is because it’s rarely discussed in any forum. Parents also have a hard time coming forward as they want to protect their daughters from coming under the social condemnation and scrutiny that is given to women with sexual curiosity or misconduct. Similar profiling and scrutiny is not as readily experienced by men and young men. There are a multitude of slang words that can swirl around a female with these challenges where as a male in the same situation would not be so condemned. Satan is aware of this and he uses shame and fear to prevent girls and women from receiving the help and life changing skills that would be the beginning of a new chapter in their life books.
We all need to acknowledge this epidemic and raise awareness around the unfortunate, commonplace occurrence of female pornography and sexual misbehaviors. Greater awareness with regard to female misbehaviors will help remove the barriers of stigma and isolation that have prevented women of all ages from receiving much needed help.
Current statistics tell us that 100% of young men are exposed to pornography by the age of 12. It would be naive to believe that our young women have not been exposed as well. This exposure impacts females differently than males. However, the impact is still one that is super-charged and leaves its distinctive and destructive mark. This exposure ignites sexual chemistry in the brain and spikes curiosity. In the age of the internet, as soon as a child can spell he or she knows how to find answers to questions on Google. I have worked with girls under the age of 12 who report utilizing the search engine with what they describe as “silly words” only to find heinous videos and pictures that continue to haunt their young minds, baiting further their curiosity and calling them back for more. The young women I work with come from strong families with outstanding value systems. No one is exempt! They report inappropriate internet use as early as the age of 5-6 years old.
Please join in fighting this new and highly addictive drug with the women and young women in your lives. Be aware that it exists. Be aware that it is common. Be aware that Satan knows that female pornography and sexual misbehavior is one of his most powerful tools in the destruction of female human potential! There is hope and healing for those who have fallen into his trap. I have observed the power of women, both young and old, who are now skilled to think like warriors and act like ladies in their fight for renewed virtue.
The young woman left my office with her head held high, having hope that change was possible, and tools that she could already work on to start implementing those changes. That same young woman has now graduated from my program and moved on to serve her mission.
For more information about prevention as well as finding hope and healing for loved ones please see the Meet With Mindy page.
Mindy offers group and individual therapy for women of all ages. You are not alone!